Couples therapy in Colorado can be a valuable resource for partners experiencing communication difficulties, conflicts, or emotional distance. However, it’s not always the right choice in every situation, particularly when abuse is present in the relationship. Understanding when couples therapy with a therapist in Colorado is appropriate and when it is not is crucial for ensuring the safety and well-being of both partners. Oftentimes, the differentiation can be challenging to identify on our own. Reaching out to an experienced relationship therapist in Colorado to help assess the relational dynamics is a crucial step. Most therapists in Denver offer split sessions when they sense that safety may be in question.

When Couples Therapy is Appropriate

Couples therapy is generally suitable for partners who:

• Face communication challenges: If arguments escalate quickly, or one or both partners struggle to express needs and feelings, therapy can teach effective communication skills. Conflict is inevitable in partnership. Therapeutic techniques do not change if you fight (because you will) but rather, how you fight. When conflict is done right, it leads to deeper understanding, connection, intimacy, solution, and safety.
• Feel emotionally disconnected: When partners experience a lack of intimacy or affection, couples therapy with our therapists in Colorado can help them understand underlying issues and rebuild connection.
• Are navigating life transitions: Changes such as becoming parents, relocating, going back to school, losing someone close, or experiencing job loss can strain relationships. Family and couples therapy in Coloradocan support couples through these transitions.
• Want to strengthen their relationship: Even for couples who are doing well, couples therapy can help deepen the relationship and prevent future problems.

When Couples Therapy is NOT Appropriate

Couples therapy may not be suitable in situations involving active abuse, where there is a significant power imbalance. This is true across heterosexual and LGBTQIA relationships. When abuse is identified, a relationship therapist in Denver will often halt couples therapy and offer safety resources to the victim, as it’s not safe to work on relationship dynamics while one partner is in danger.

Understanding Abuse and Power Dynamics

Abuse in relationships creates a significant power imbalance, where one partner exerts control over the other through physical, emotional, psychological, or sexual harm. In such cases, therapy can inadvertently become a space where the abuser gains more control over the victim, or the victim may feel pressured to reconcile or “work on” the relationship.

Therapists in our Harmony Pathway team, Colorado will assess for abuse during the intake process, and if there is any indication of violence or control, they will prioritize the safety of the victim and refer them to individual therapy or resources like shelters, legal aid, or domestic violence hotlines.

Types of Abusers

Abusers can exhibit different patterns of behavior, which can be broadly categorized into types:

• Narcissists: These individuals display a sense of entitlement, lack of empathy, and a need for admiration. In relationships, they may manipulate their partners through gaslighting, love-bombing, and making the partner doubt their own experiences. Narcissistic abuse can be subtle yet deeply damaging.
• Pitbulls: This type of abuser is characterized by intense jealousy and an inability to manage feelings of anger. They are often emotionally dependent on their partner and may appear remorseful after episodes of rage. While their attachment may seem genuine, the control and volatility make it dangerous for the partner.
• Cobras: Cobras are typically calm and calculating in their abuse, and their control is often premeditated. Unlike pitbulls, who may lash out in a reactive manner, cobras are more likely to use threats, intimidation, and manipulation with a sense of detachment. They may exhibit sudden bursts of violence, followed by a return to calmness.

Therapist’s Role in Identifying and Responding to Abuse

When signs of abuse are present, a family and couples therapist in Colorado’s ethical responsibility is to prioritize the safety of the victim. Couples therapy is put on hold, and the therapist provides information on protective resources, such as crisis hotlines, shelters, or law enforcement contacts. Therapy for the abusive partner is recommended separately, focusing on addressing the underlying issues that contribute to their behavior.

Couples therapy is a powerful tool for many relationship challenges but is not safe in abusive situations. Understanding the power dynamics and types of abuse helps ensure therapy is used appropriately, with safety as the foremost concern.