I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say that the conversations we have to have in our roles as therapists may feel rather hopeless lately. The weight of the careless actions of an unjust political system leaves us feeling insufficient, unequipped. The recurrent failures of those in positions of power to use their influence for the betterment of marginalized identities leave us despondent. Meanwhile, those impacted by these willful and negligent actions leave us asking, “What can I even do?”

Today, I invite you to consider how you perceive strength, how you tap into it, and how redefining strength may help answer this question.

Finding Your Strength

I grew up with an incredible father. I was lucky enough to have a man in my life who truly cared, who watched me grow into someone he could be proud of—and someone who could be proud of himself. I also had an empowering mother, a woman who saw capability in me that I am still learning to recognize.

I remember a conversation with my dad when I was about 15 years old. He sat down with me and asked, “When you think of strength, who do you think about?” I considered it for a moment before naming a few characters from movies and books—action heroes, men of valor. These were figures I admired and aspired to emulate. I saw myself as someone capable of rising to their level.

Then my dad asked, “What makes them strong? Are they strong because they use their size or physical capability to coerce and control, or do they use it for some other purpose?”

I thought about it and replied, “They use their strength to protect people who can’t protect themselves.”

A smile spread across my dad’s face as he said, “True strength is found in how gentle you are willing to be, and how tall you are willing to stand so that those with less may stand on your shoulders.”

It took years for me to fully grasp the depth of his words, and even now, I continue to learn what it means to be strong.

So I ask you: What does strength mean to you? When you think of strength, who comes to mind?

Accessing Strength

Throughout my life, the concept of strength has taken on many different forms. Before becoming a therapist, I spent much of my life competing in mixed martial arts. My understanding of strength was almost entirely tied to my physical capabilities. However, after experiencing challenges beyond my control, I found myself questioning everything.

Was my strength a sham? Had I become weaker because something had happened to me that I couldn’t prevent? Since I had always defined my strength by my ability to protect myself and others, failing to do so left me feeling lost, disconnected from the person I had worked so hard to become. When we are laid bare, we have an opportunity to expand our perspectives of who we are.

As I worked to reconnect with myself, my friends and family posed questions that shifted my thinking: “What if the same gentleness you see in strength was something you gave to yourself? What if you allowed yourself to stand on the shoulders of people who want to be strong for you?”

Through these questions, I discovered that strength is not only found in perseverance but also in the willingness to admit when we are struggling. Strength exists in allowing ourselves to be supported.

Standing Strong, Together

So how do we access our strength when we feel helpless?

We start by redefining what strength means. Strength is not always about force or resilience in isolation—it is also about vulnerability, connection, and recognizing that we do not have to carry burdens alone. It is about choosing to stand tall, not just for ourselves, but for those who need us. And sometimes, it is about having the courage to lean on others when we need support.

In times of adversity, let us remind ourselves: Strength is found in community. It is found in the spaces where we allow ourselves to be seen and in the moments when we offer a hand to lift someone else up.

When we stand together, we are never truly powerless. And that is a strength no system can take from us.

Invitation to Reflect

I would like to invite you to reflect on the following questions: 

• What is your personal definition of strength? Where does your strength come from? What life experiences have shaped your understanding of strength? 
• Take a moment to consider individuals in your life, (Or characters from books or media) that have shaped your perspective of strength. What qualities do these people embody that you find meaningful?
• Contemplate moments in your life where acknowledging vulnerabilities has led to personal growth. How did these experiences redefine your perception of strength? 
• How can you use your strength to support others? How can you engage in the strength it takes to be supported by others? In what ways can you stand tall so that those with less may stand on your shoulders?