I’ve recently been invited to contribute to The Outsider’s Map by Varsha Swamy. Through earlier conversations, I’ve discovered that our team shares deeply aligned values and a commitment to messages we wish to share with our peers, clients, friends, family, and community. Naturally, I was thrilled to be part of this project, envisioning various directions my articles could take.
However, when I finally sat down to write, I found myself staring at a blank screen. Each time I tried to focus on a single topic—whether it was setting boundaries, balancing self-care, or fostering community—I’d lose sight of the larger story I wanted to tell. When I stepped back to consider the bigger picture, I became overwhelmed by possibilities and, frankly, by imposter syndrome. I have insights and experiences to share, but am I the right person to write about these topics? Am I offering anything new? And when addressing nuances in social interactions or self-perception, how could I be sure I was guiding my audience appropriately?
Yet, here you are, reading my words. This isn’t a tale of triumphant success but a step forward in an ongoing journey. Let me share my process with you.
Facing the Blank Page
The first article I planned wasn’t this one but one about boundaries. I combed through my old graduate texts, searching for inspiration, but I couldn’t find the nuanced conversations I hoped to highlight. I leaned on my own experiences and those of my clients, but as an academic at heart, I sought additional sources. This search led me into rabbit holes on topics like cultural politeness and Western hyper-individualism, resulting in plenty of future ideas—but no clarity on the piece I wanted to write.
Frustration and overwhelm followed. But two realizations changed my perspective:
- Many mental health professionals I admire discuss these topics as informed conversations, not as ultimate truths. Even experts are still learning through research and clinical practice. Discussions and storytelling, not rigid instructions, foster genuine connection and growth.
- A video essay I encountered shifted my thinking. While the main topic wasn’t relevant, its closing message resonated: My frustration wasn’t about finding the “right” authority or words. It was fear—fear that my voice wasn’t worth hearing if it didn’t meet unrealistic expectations. Writing this piece became about discovering my voice after years of silencing it. If nothing else, I hope my readers allow themselves to be heard too—because every voice matters.
Tools for Overcoming Self-Doubt
Your experience may not mirror mine exactly, but here are tools that helped me navigate self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and the vulnerability of putting myself out there:
1. Accept the Feelings, Not Defeat
Ignoring difficult emotions doesn’t make them disappear. Instead, acknowledge, validate, and express them. This process renews motivation and prevents you from getting stuck. Similarly, defeatist thoughts that surface can be challenged or dismissed. While emotions can feel overwhelming, you always control how you respond.
2. You’re Not Alone
Imposter syndrome is universal—even among experts. While self-doubt is normal, it doesn’t define your worth. Remember, everyone fears rejection at times. You belong in the spaces you occupy.
3. Appreciate Your Efforts
We often only value the finished product, overlooking the effort it took to get there. Brainstorming, researching, and organizing all require skill and energy. Recognize these steps as progress rather than dismissing them.
4. Set Kind Expectations
Goals are important, but so is self-compassion. It’s okay to find something difficult—even if it once felt easy or comes easily to others. You don’t need all the answers right now. Let go of “should” or “shouldn’t” thinking and give yourself grace.
5. Keep Learning
Sometimes, additional preparation can bolster confidence. But more often, the process of learning affirms that you were ready all along. A little extra reassurance can be the push you need to move forward.
6. Seek Support
After wrestling with my challenges, I shared them with my team. Their perspective reminded me that this project wasn’t about perfection. I’m a therapist first, not a philosopher or writer—and that doesn’t diminish the value of my voice. Collaboration revealed solutions I couldn’t see alone. Be open to the support around you.
An Invitation to Reflect
- In what areas of your life do you experience self-doubt or imposter syndrome?
- When have you felt afraid to speak up or believed your voice wouldn’t be heard?
- What would you say if you knew others were ready to listen?
- Who in your life makes you feel heard?
